BOWTHSES

I have had my share of strange bosses, I mean who hasn’t? My first boss was okay. She wore her pants really high and it was my first time at the age of 14 hearing the word “fupa” because my stoner, 17 year old co- worker referred to her as fupa khaks.

Now I am out of college, being forced to test the real world and stick it to the man.

Anyways. My first encounter with an actual character of a TV show was unfortunately , my boss and on the worst kind of genre of TV, reality television. I was out in the Hamptons and my boss and I and some other “wealthy man” (What the new york post page 6  literally referred to the dude we were hanging with) All got bottle service. Tequila. Not exaggerating, but we finished the whole bottle. When our bill arrived my boss caused a scene and we were kicked out of the club (This is another story, but somehow we made it into Page 6 of the New York Post I will post the link at the bottom of the page so you get the idea)  Anyways we were driving home and from what my drunken brain can tell you, my boss was laying in the back and she started to touch herself. The “wealthy man” THREW the car into park and jumped in the back. I can’t explain in detail what was going on, however, the dude grabbed my hand and tried to make me touch my bosses vag. I did graze her vagina, and I got so scared I jumped out of the car. The last thing I remember is running to the house in the hamptons and asking the maid to hide me. The next morning I woke up in a locked room and the maid told me she hid me behind the couch for an hour and I was really quiet.

Another boss once sexted me. That was interesting. She was freaking out on me via text. I’m like chill lady, first it was a sunday afternoon and I was coming back from a music fest so I was dirty and I had at least three braincells left. I could not deal with the bitching. After “killing the boss with kindness” all of the sudden I received a picture message of her vagina saying “my legs would be spread and wrapped around you if you were here.” I immediately screamed and my friend who was driving was like “WHAT?! WHAT?!” I showed him and felt so gross out. I felt like a worm, all squiggly and slimy and confused. I just could not even think of the next encounter with my boss after this happened.

I was cleaning another bosses office once and I was new so I texted the old girl who I replaced and asked if it was ok to clean the inside of his desk. When she gave me the ok I started organizing and my way of organizing is pushing everything into one corner and after looking at it for three minutes I was like “grow up Christine, take everything out of the drawer and organize it the right way” So I took my two hands and started scooping up the materials and placing them on top of the desk. I had a whiff of something and I looked in the pile of junk in my hands and “No fucking way, this is a weed piece” I smelled it and it was a mini vaporizer. Anyways, I thought it was awesome for two seconds then I felt awkward again. I was thinking I should just throw everything back in the drawer and try to make it look all disorganized again, but I was like F it. The next week he knew I went through his desk and I just acted cool, but he acted kinda distant. Maybe it was all in my head. I thought I was going to be fired anyways because I was doing such a bad job. The next day he called me into the office “Hey Christine I have a present for you, I did some cooking this weekend and made you my special brownies.” OH NO WAY! I immediately thought he liked me again and I was really craving chocolate. So I sat back at my desk and opened the little Tupperware of brownies and thought wow these are really looking moist. So I tried to pick one up and they were really wet. Whatever, I ate one and it tasted pretty coconutty and it was so good, a second later I realized it tasted like weed. “Did I really just eat a pot brownie? Did my boss actually just give me special brownies?” I seriously thought special was like his special recipe his grandmother gave him or something. I started getting all panicy and sweaty. An hour later I started to feel really high and giggly and got the guts to ask the old girl if he makes special brownies. She confirmed that he did and then she explained that they sucked because they are all gooey. So for the next two hours of work I was really weird and high and I had to type up this simple document, but I just couldn’t stop thinking that I accidentally ate a pot brownie and my co worker and I had a 15 minute conversation about endless shrimp at red lobster.

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Oh you have a porsche? cool. Oh its your dads? Not that impressed.

I had an ex who had an array of nice cars. Cars of which him and his family were proud of. I remember driving in his pontiac 350 or whatever it was called and thinking I was cool or something because he thought it was cool. Anyways the other day this kid texted me and said he wanted to bring me around in his dads porsche. I was not  doing anything so I didn’t really have a reason not to go, but I couldn’t handle the thought that this kid thought he was “badass” because he was picking me up in his dads borrowed porsche.

My ex boyfriend always borrowed his dads nice cars when I was 18 so I was totally over it.

Anyways I was in my room and ran downstairs where I left my phone to read a text explaining that the kid was outside my house and “had to take the top off”.

 

Yeah, so I ran back to the top floor of my room and he was waiting in front of my house and stared at him through the shade of my bedroom until he left.

 

Please never show up to a girls house when you are annoying or trying to show off an entity unless the girl likes nice things. But, the Porsche wasn’t even that nice.

I eat like shit

I really do love oreos and nutella. It really sux. 

Going old school: Blind Dates Still Exist!

I started playing the violin in 3rd grade and had an urge to to start it back up again. I did some research and the whole process of renting, buying, trying to find a reasonably priced lesson was so tedious, I turned to one of my favorite websites: craigslist.com.

I was forward and simply posted that I wanted someone with a spare violin who is willing to give free lessons. About a week later I received and email from a guy who went to school for music. He pretty much gave me his entire resume and said if I was not willing to pay for lessons we could work something out. I told him that I would live in his basement for a week and would be his sex servant supplying him with drugs and vodka.  Not really. I replied back that I have been getting into shape to run races and I would train him. Miraculously, he was super pumped about it. This was super sketchy, considering I do not have a facebook and I had his whole name and I could not find a picture of him on the internet, however, he did have a linked in and everything matched up. I felt more relieved.

February 14: Valentine’s day. I received no flowers, no cards, had no lovers. I checked the mail, my parents gave me a card with a cat on it saying that I was their favorite daughter. Anyways, I made myself sugar cookies with confetti frosting and dyed it black(I used a almost a whole bottle or red food coloring, some blue and yellow)  and ate 4 big ass cookies that said anonymous funny things that would be funny to a person of interest, but no, had to eat them by myself. I was pathetic. So I was thinking, I should meet up with the violin guy. So I texted him and asked what he was doing and if he wanted to grab dinner. He agreed, him also being new to Denver I picked the spot and was clear that I did not want to be murdered on Valentines day.

We met at the restaurant and I got there before him and I downed a pineapple vodka. All of the sudden I heard a loud voice “CHRISTINE?” And I looked and there was violin guy. He was actually quite normal and average. We had good conversation, except he started talking about playing at this local church on Sundays and I was wearing this stupid shirt I made and I had a tiny upside down cross on it so the whole time I was trying to cover it with my hair. I didn’t want him to think I hailed satan. Super awkward. All together I had a nice time.

I think everyone should go on at least one Blind Date. With social media it is almost impossible to accomplish, but make it happen. I think it is almost like a small fear that everyone should face. Just meeting a complete stranger not knowing what they look like, the shape, their hair, if they have hair, if you are going to be taller than them so you have to think about what shoes you will wear. Just do it. Its a complete test of getting out of your comfort zone, and I think the best part of meeting a stranger is that they know nothing about you so you can completely be yourself (or not)

Will I ever go on another blind date? Sure, but probably not.

Also my mother always said: Ask and you shall receive. Do something you have been putting off or want to do. Just ask. Sometimes the outcome can be the complete opposite of what you were expecting.

You ever hear t…

You ever hear the saying when your right ear rings someone is saying something good about you, and when your left ear rings, somebody is saying something bad about you. When either ear is ringing one has to quickly say random names of people they know and when your ear stops ringinging when the rigin gstops and the name it lands on that person is talking about you. 

I whispered her name and the ringing stopped. I smiled. 

Here I am, alone in my quiet house back in the Adirondacks. Too quiet. I can’t even hear a creak because the house is so new. This is my story of my month living in New York City. I will keep myself and the people in my story anonymous. You can decipher the characters for yourself.

I am thinking my mind full of regret for leaving the city. For making the quick impulse decision of moving to Denver, Colorado. SO impulsive, but just like I choose this job, another impulsive decision.

I did not know anything. I went into this job like free falling from a plane without a parachute.  I DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING. 

Let me start from the beginning.

It was april and decided I did not feel like looking for a big girl job yet. I wanted to nanny for a bit, work on my portfolio “get to know myself”. I am at the perfect age and time of my life where it is totally acceptable to fuck around after the college years. There is no other excuse other than I have no idea what I want to do. I was on this nanny website. Talked to a few wealthy families from London, Switzerland, Turkey. This was a sex trafficking trick just waiting to happen. I flashed back to the movie Taken where ________ _________ was filled with karate chops to the neck and was wondeering if I was taken if my dad would do the same. I did not feel like putting him through that trouble so I decided to stay in the US. I then began to look at families in Manhattan Beach, Denver, and NYC. One April afternoon I was sitting in my room and a message reading “interested in a personal assistant job in NYC please contact _” and a number. It also read “ask for Jamie” I called. I called three times and a foreigner voice saying “YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER” after the third time. I was confused and just thought to myself to forget about it. How could this person ask me to call and they are saying I have the wrong number. Especially with this foreign voice it definitely was a trap. 

ANYWAYS I forgot about it. 

Conflict of Interest?

Where: The Burgata Hotel in Atlanta City

What: 350 journalist were invited to the opening of the extravagant hotel in downtown atlanta city. Each journalist is allowed to bring one guest and everything was included along with free spa usage and other amenities the hotel had to offer.

This meant that 160 national and local print stories were going to be published about this hotel. Would this be a corporate conflict of interest? And is it ethical that the journalist is getting a free vacation so naturally the journalist will discuss in their article that it was a great place to stay.

I think it is fine and ethical. It is a journalist job to write stories and seek the truth and even if a hotel offers free stuff with free stay allowing one guest, of course one will jump on the opportunity. In our book I was annoyed by a part that the author described a journalist going white water rafting and he actually had a good time. Someone wrote to the journalist and assumed that he got to go for free and that is why he raved about the white water rafting expedition. The author agreed with the person explaining that they did give him a free ride, however he had a genuine good time.

However, say the journalist “lied” and said he had a good time it would depend what the story was written for. If the journalist was writing for an extreme hiking and backpacking magazine I could understand why he would “lie” and explain why he had a great adventure than being scared for his life.

Does Dateline Go a Little Far With Their Show ‘To Catch A Preditor”

There is something about Chris Hansen voice that reels our ears and eyes to the television once he starts talking about online predators and how it could happen in your own backyard to your own family room where your kids computer is located.
In the peak of the shows series people tuned in for sixty minutes from start to finish and morph into  complete shock that grown men are interested in having sexual relation with children on national television.

Dateline has volunteers that pose as 12 or 13 year-olds and spend time on a chat room and as they wait for the predators to approach them. These decoys lure the men in by being interested and they act like they are eager to meet.
Most people would refer this to the most shocking part of the show, but the men actually show up at the address the decoy provided them with ready for a sexual encounter. When the men enter the house, some are sketched out while others go along and sit down. When they sit down they are soon in a very uncomfortable situation when the men are encountered by Chris Hansen. It is almost too uncomfortable to watch as Chris grills the men with questions. Some run, some believe he is with law enforcement and is trapped to have a conversation with him. The decoy house is wired with many hidden cameras to get every angle and every emotion. The men are arrested soon afterward.
It is difficult to say if this is ethical or unethical to discuss in journalism. Many would say that this is a scare factor for many sexual predators. I believe that it is very disturbing that the men are thinking about what they are about to do. However to journalist they cannot just leave behind journalistic rules just because first instinct is that the ends justify the means.
I believe that this is a very entertaining show and I have absolutely no remorse that the men featured in this program are embarrassed, arrested and exposed ( i.e their name, if they have any other criminal records, if they have and family or kids themselves.) But Dateline should think about the ethical decisions and if it should be up to the law to decide men’s fate.